No of course this isn't about my dissertation (though no doubt that's what I should be doing rather than writing to you, faithful and much neglected Reader). It's about my first research love -- which would be anything related to corporal punishment.
Last week I wrote about the startle in Marc Drogin's book about medieval calligraphy, which included the mention of "palmers" described as "sticks with round, flattened heads with which to slap students palms." This interested me enough that I became obsessed with finding a picture of a palmer. I needed to see one to make sure my scribe fantasies were accurate.
Sadly, googling "palmer" revealed that "Palmer" is an insanely common author last name. Too common even when adding "medieval" or "middle ages" or "scribe." I'm sure you, Dear Reader, have experienced this frustration -- not enough specificity and you get 1,000,000 results, add too many words and you get none at all. After several fruitless hours I had to accept my defeat.
Almost.
As Paul would no doubt tell you, I am not easily thwarted.
So I posted to soc.sexuality.spanking, both to tell about the startle and to ask if anyone knew where an image for a "palmer" might be found. Usenet being usenet, of course someone knew. A "palmer" is, according to the expert response, another word for "ferule" (an implement had previously only seen as a weighted leather strap (see London Tanner's "Convent Strap for an example). The poster included a link to this image of a ferule described as the"Ferule of mason's guild, 1721" housed at the Vysoké Mýto Museum in the Czech Republic (thoughts for a Lupus film now run riot).
As the newsgroup discussion progressed and after I had expressed my thrilled excitement at the picture, Tony Elka mentioned that this one "it doesn't really look like a spanking implement." Given the text, I think this one may have been a symbol of guild office. But armed with my new knowledge of the wooden ferule, I began searching Google afresh, this time with more success.
On this obviously fascinating page (which I hadn't visited before), dedicated to listing and defining instruments of flagellation, I found an image of a "palmeta" (Spanish), described as "A short flat slab of wood used for punish children by beating them in their hands" which fitted quite nicely with the image of a "palmer" I now had in my head, though the word can also be used to mean pretty much any paddle shaped object or even a flyswatter.
Do you think they're the sort of thing the good Abelard might have used on his teenaged student Heloise? He certainly does in my version of the tale.
These images generally aren't the greatest (and seem to have been passed around the web for years and years with no mention of origin) but are the best I've been able to find. Their very sketchiness is evocative for me. Hope they are for some of you too. Meanwhile, back to my apprentice scribe imaginings and my "real" scribe practicing.
A while ago, curious after being told by Chris that everyone was there, I started exploring FetLife. It's a very cool social networking site for the kinky. I had a great time, met some cool people and basically enjoyed myself.
Note my use of the past tense. I still get emails notifying me that people, mostly old friends who are arriving there themselves, have seen my profile and want to connect. This would be cool, but I'm not really there anymore, not because I don't like the community but because, for now anyway, I don't have time. Something had to give and that something was FetLife.
There's a few reasons for this. I've always had trouble reading there -- my eyes don't like white text on black background -- too long gives me a headache. My main issue though is that it's just a very kinky site and I no longer have privacy when I'm using my computer at work. This isn't a criticism of FetLife. It should be an adult site with adult connect and explicit images. But there's no way I can even go to it and check messages at FetLife while I'm at work. By contrast, Typepad, Tweety, MacSoup (for usenet) and Newsfire all look pretty generic, whatever their content may be -- in fact I'm being paid to blog for my office several hours a week.
But surely, you say, I can use FetLife at home. This is true, but not happening enough (see comment about the colors and my eyes) that I'm participating. So my question is, should I take my profile down? Or just mention this there, when I can actually get to the site?
Maybe I'll ask Chris on Saturday. When we connect by actually talking in person. Such an odd idea, that.
This entry is not about spanking or anything fetish related. Well, except for that sentence.
Mostly this is a bit of a gripe. If a company is trying to sell me their product, it would be really great if they didn't act like my choice not to use either the computer or software they want me to is the problem. We've all had, I assume, the experience of being told by a website that we can't access all the functions because we aren't running say IE or FireFox or whatever other browser they're demanding. I'm not complaining about little websites either. My bank does this, United Airlines did and goodness knows how many other companies. As Paul said, why not just put a running banner at the bottom of each page saying "I am a crap web programmer who can't be bothered to make this site fully functional"?
So where is this rant going? My university is encouraging students (especially graduate students) to switch from other computer-based bibliographic software to a web-based service provided by RefWorks. Even though I've hated EndNote for years (it's ugly, clunky and has a steep learning curve) I've resisted because RefWorks charges $100 a year for their service. While it would be free while I was affiliated with my current university, I didn't want to deal with having to either change or be charged once I leave. So I stuck with EndNote, ugly though it may be.
Last week I heard from our librarian that we should consider changing because RefWorks had started an alumni program which would allow those of us who use the service now to continue using it for free as long as our university had a subscription. This renewed my interest so I started investigating the service more closely. I could import my reference libraries -- great. The interface is pretty nice (though it's got some ugly, clunky features as well -- maybe there's no helping that with reference software). But I couldn't figure out how to insert citations while writing. Neither could the librarian, so we checked with RefWorks who directed us to something they call "write and cite." Great -- it works pretty much like EndNote's "insert citation" feature.
Except that unlike EndNote, on RefWorks the citation feature only works with Microsoft Word. Not so great then.
Like a number of other people in my field, I don't write in MSWord, I write using Pages (part of iWork) and convert to Word or pdf if needed. Word has a number of bugs when doing footnotes (it randomly pushes them onto the next page and forcing them back is a lot of work) and my research writing is heavily footnote dependent. For that reason, Pages is way more suited to my academic writing needs. RefWorks, despite literature comparing themselves favorably to EndNote, doesn't support the insert citation / write and cite function in anything other than Word.
They wrote that they believe iWork (and OpenOffice) users are too small in number for them to develop for. There's no work around other than inserting the citations manually, something which rather defeats the purpose of using citation software in the first place. The librarian that gave me the bad news said this news about iWork and OpenOffice would be considered when the university is discussing renewing our subscription -- for which they pay in excess of $10,000 a year -- that students and faculty shouldn't be forced to use a specific word processor to use a university-provided subscription service.
It seems EndNote wins by default. Bah. What a waste of time.
[This entry is inspired by the work Richard Windsor is doing in creating and maintaining his new Spanking Universe, blog of blogs site. If you haven't been there, do go see. It's an impressive work in progress. Now that the Forth Bridge is almost painted, Richard has found the next endless task -- blogging spanking blogs. Just so he can't call it thankless though, I'm thanking him now for his time and effort.]
Links are real important -- they're how we find each other and thus are how community is created. Links are hugely important when a blog is new and it's hoping to find readers. Because without readers we don't need computers to do this, we could just keep a journal in a notebook. At their best, they function as signposts for the 'net, especially within the BDSM and spanking subcultures.
Yet I'll admit to having a hard time deciding what to do when someone writes and wants me to link to them or suggests we do a link exchange. Part of my discomfort is that I've backed myself into a bit of a corner by even having links in my sidebar. So if I'm linking to those people, why not link to this new one? Mainly it's that I've always liked my links to mean something. I've never felt comfortable linking to sites or products I don't use. Even more so with blogs, it seems like I shouldn't link to sites I don't read regularly. So there's that. Add to that, the nature of writing is that sometimes people do it for a while and then stop. That's fine with a website -- The Treehouse is currently more of an archive than anything else, and has been for a few years now. But blogs feel like they should stay relatively current (with posts within the last year or two) -- otherwise they seem to have died. Even with my relatively short links lists, I generally find a few broken ones when I check them every few months. I don't want to do the work needed to maintain a longer lists (though I admire bloggers like Bonnie who do so), so I suppose that makes laziness my other reason.
So how do I decide to link to something? Generally if I go to a blog and read through a few months worth of entries and then add them to Newsfire (that's an RSS reader). Then I'm pretty sure I'm likely to keep reading. At least in bursts. Another way would be if I know the writer in person on some level. Again, then I know I'm more likely to become a consistent reader. My link list is one of blogs and sites I admire and enjoy.
Blogs I like tend to be text heavy and not present too idealized a version of life. I'm more of text person than a picture one (old school, me) and am a sucker for introspection and good writing. I always think / hope that if I enjoy reading something, someone who likes this blog will be interested in that one too.
So, I'm wondering, how do you decide who and how you link? And, while we're at it, what do you find useful in a link list.
I include Niki and Amy's anti-piracy video not because it's entirely relevant, but because it's my favorite YouTube video.
As many of you know, despite the blogging and online forums where I also play, I still read and post on usenet (yes, I'm that old) on soc.sexuality.spanking. A recent discussion there prompted these thoughts.
Question: Why anyone (like me) would object to any free site archiving stories we've given away anyway. There are authors like John Benson that give their work to be reproduced and archive freely. Why won't I do that?
It's not about money. I've only written a couple of stories for profit and even then I was paid peanuts and the copyright reverted to me after 24 months. Those stories are also, with only a few exceptions, archived on The Treehouse and have been for more than ten years now. So why *would* I care if someone else puts them up on another free site? Is it as simple as a selfish "they're mine"?
Not exactly, but sort of. They are mine. Moreover, they're me. I post them, but I can't and don't let go.
These stories aren't just closely linked or even the product of my explorations of my spanking fantasies -- the act of writing them and they themselves were explorations. Some early ones are accounts of child abuse, remember and relived in fear, anger and pain. Some are accounts of scenes with other people or were written as gifts to them -- statements of love and hope. Others are fantasies that were so secret I'd never dared write them down before this moment when I did. They were all written in part as a gesture of thanks to my beloved alt.sex.spanking and soc.sexuality.spanking for freeing me to embrace this part of myself.
It's been a long time, but when I re-read them, I remember writing each one, sometimes crying, sometimes shaking and sometimes incredibly turned on, almost burning with a desire to tell someone what I was seeing and feeling behind my eyes. I remember my heart thudding as I wrote and then again as I tried to decide whether or not to delete the story, whether or not I could bear to post it. This is all just a long way of saying that my stories may or may not be very good (and some are worse than others) but for me and to me they're all very important.
When I first started posting to the group, someone put some of my stories on their website along with some pictures and a bunch of other work. They didn't ask, but when I found the site (or rather someone else did) I was stunned and flattered. It was a simple little site on a free server (Free Yellow? -- can't remember). Within a month the owner got dropped from their free server because of content and bandwidth (remember when we used to have to worry about that? Yeah? Then you're old too!). They moved the site to another free server, but this one was an adult server. The site had xxx banners with very explicit sexual imagines of, well, sex.
This wasn't what the stories I wrote were about. This isn't what I'm about or turned on by. I didn't want them to be somewhere I felt I had to avert my eyes from every time I surfed over. I was horrified and asked that they be taken down. The owner was annoyed with me, feeling I didn't understand the effort involved in formatting my stories and the difficulties of finding free hosting. I pointed out I hadn't asked him to do this, that, in fact, I hadn't even given permission.
At the same time, a number of authors on ASS were struggling to get their stories off any number of pay-sites that were sprouting like mushrooms and using the stories as both content and to drive traffic. Those stories, hundreds of them, had to a significant extent been ripped off a free archive, created with good intentions but without the permission of the authors involved. This struggle went on for years. In fact, for all I know, it's still going on.
In response to this, and so we could say to people who wanted our work archived that it already was, Paul built The Treehouse, registered the domain and gave it to me as what is still the absolute bestest Christmas present ever. Although the site could do with a facelift (do you know how long 10 years is in internet terms?), it was and is the way I imagined those stories being presented. Every part of the site was talked about between us both at the time and after. The space was supposed to be an expression of innocence. Not innocence shattered or parodies, but reclaimed. Not dark or sexual, but light and fun. Nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.
We pay for the domain and the hosting -- no ads or sponsors. The control of the space is important enough that even when we were broke the hosting fees for The Treehouse were always a priority. The control is that important. It's why since then I've given permission for archiving only to good friends and only for a few stories here and there. I'm not alone in this -- a number of story sites, both current and past, were started for the same reason. Others stopped posting stories altogether or only post them to their own sites -- it was just too much work to explain Usenet isn't public domain. I know at least one person who only sends out stories via email as PDF documents.
And yes, I do complain when my stories are on sites without permission. I won't stop doing that -- whatever the site's intentions might be. But I am going to try and speak a little more softly when I do so remembering that there can be good intentions all around.
I've made a more serious post about how Paul and I use technology in our discipline / punishment scenes over on the Punishment Book including our more recent use of the iPhone in conjunction with Apple's MobileMe. This blog entry is about the more fun and kinky iPhone apps I've discovered since Paul gave me one for my birthday this past July --I mention this in case there's any doubt that Paul keeps me very indulged and spoiled. The screening process Apple uses hasn't screened them out, at least not so far as I can tell.
The most obvious of the kink apps is iSpank. No really and for true, it's there in the iTunes store, in both a free and $.99 version (you get more implements for the money). It's fun -- some of the sound effects are better than others. While the paddle is only okay, the belt or strap always makes me start a little even when I'm holding it. One danger of the app, however, is what I think of as the Wii problem -- it encourages the spanker to swing their iPhone around. So make sure you have a tight hold. You then get rated on the strength of your swing. I rarely get more than 5/10, though Paul thinks I don't need swing so much, that it's all in the wrist.
But the kinkiest one I've found is called either iGrounded or UrGrounded. Its makers market it as a "parenting tool" claiming, "Kids need boundaries. This app helps parents set and enforce consequences.
-urgrounded games-makes grounding easier for parents and kids." Nothing too kinky there (well, except the idea that punishment's a game) -- but then it goes on to say
WE ARE A GENERATION OF WIMPY PARENTS...and we are creating a generation of kids that are lazy,rude, entitled and who show a lack of respect for RULES.
iGrounded is A QUICK POCKET GUIDE FOR PARENTS
When kids break the rules,they need immediate logical consequences.
iGROUNDED INCLUDES:
UR GROUNDED WHEEL OF CONSEQUENCES GAME..
THE MYSTERY DOORS CONSEQUENCE GAME!
Parents, YOU enter and edit the consequences in both games.
Guide to:
LYING
CURFEW BREAKING
STEALING
NOT CHECKING IN
DRUGS /ALCOHOL
SEXTING
DRIVING ISSUES
ATTITUDE
POOR GRADES and more...
Parents, YOU enter and edit the consequences.
Keep track of who's grounded in your home.
E -mail your child (and yourself) with the consequence as a friendly reminder.
Excuse me? Let's just look at that last sentence. Are we talking about Girl's Boarding School here? I mean, I don't have kids, but do most parents really need to have emailed reminders sent to themselves to remember which child has been grounded and for what? How many teens are living in this "family" anyway? The offenses also look like something out of video (or story) plot -- parent scolding and punishing teen for breaking curfew, or better yet, catching them "sexting." Lovely stuff. The app has scolding prompts to remind parents why lying is bad (seriously).
Keeping with this theme, I do find it odd that "not checking in" appears between "stealing" and "alcohol/drugs."
Which brings me to the Wheel of Consequences. As downloaded, the wheel, which spins with a flick of the finger does not have corporal punishments. Insteadm, they start out with punishments like forced runs, losing game consoles, cleaning the cat box, losing pet (!!!) or having to stay home or in ones room (bliss!), but can be easily edited to fit a more CP turn. The thing is, I can imagine this "spin and be punished" game being used at a Shadow Lane Party a lot more easily than I can by a parents as a means of deciding how to punish a teenager for a drug offense.
One last gem. The maker claims this app is "Recommended by Pediatricians" -- I'm imagining a conversation a bit like this:
DOCTOR: Good Lord Sir / Madam! Your child is clearly an out of control brat who is both lazy and rude! You are a wimpy parent!
PARENT: I know doctor, he/she has no respect for the rules. Maybe it's because I can't figure out what the logical consequences of their misbehavior should be. For that matter, I can't even keep track of whether or not my son/daughter is grounded. Whatever can I do?
DOCTOR: I've no idea. Your situation seems hopeless. Unless... I say, you wouldn't happen to have an iPhone by any chance?
There's nothing I can see that's serious about this app, but it might be a great help for spanking story writers or roleplay enthusiasts. And what could be more fun than that?
[okay, let's see how typing with my thumbs in the moving car goes.]
I'm going to try and do a more organized party report once we get home. Pablo and I are headed home from what is, I think anyway, my 14th Shadow Lane party. Since there's been 29 total. I'm catching up to 50%. There's just no way to claim newbie status anymore. Who'd have guessed?
Before every party I'm nervous enough to wonder why we're going, even though I have never regretted attending a single party and have always been sorry when we've had to skip / miss one. it's not about the play (though some of the most amazing scenes I've ever been part of have been at SL parties) -- I'm fortunate to have married someone happy to spank me as much as I can stand. it's the chance to spend a weekend away from real life stress and surrounded by and celebrating spanking and how damned much fun it is that makes the parties such great events for me.
The economy in the past 18 months has made it difficult for some of our friends to travel for pleasure. This made it all the more wonderful that so many were able to make it this time around. I especially enjoyed the sadly too-rare chance to hang out with some of the folks from FL Moonshine and SSNY.
it'll likely be a while until we can do it again. Meantime the friendships continue on and offline. The afterglow feeds Pab and my feelings toward each other. My most heartfelt thanks to Butch, Eve and Tony for working so hard so their guests can play so much.
And with that, we're almost to Baker and lunch. NV is behind us for now.
--
This entry was sent from my iPhone.
The workday is over, I'm home and it's time to start getting ready for the Shadow Lane party.
First things first, as mentioned in yesterday's blog post, I'm going to try and Twitter from Vegas. It can't turn out any worse than my attempts to write party posts have. The thing is, I can send tweets from my phone, but I won't be able to see replies until I can go on-line -- my phone is too primitive to receive tweets so unless I can figure something else out (unlikely) there won't be much back and forth. If you unaccountably want to read these entries (likely to be very banal), they're in the right sidebar of this blog and also on my twitter page.
On the technical side of this blog, I've tried to go through my sidebar links and update them, removing the broken ones (so sad!) and updating people who've moved. If I've missed your blog's new home, please let me know. The page layout is looking quite cluttered right now. I wanted to add the date to the entries, but can't seem to make it show up on the bottom next to the time (which would be sensible) so it's there cluttering up the top. There's also now links at the top for "home," "archives," and "subscribe." The last of these will hook you up to the blog's RSS feed.
[An aside: while researching Twitter today, I discovered that Stephen Fry, Alan Davis and Neil Gaiman seem to "tweet" compulsively throughout their days. While I'm not surprised, it's definitely fascinating. A whole world of time-wasting activity seems to have opened up for me.]
All the waxing I needed (basically everything) including the Brazilian Full Monty was done at my much beloved Queen Bee on Tuesday. Hair is as good as it's going to be. I've given up on my nails -- had some thought of a pedicure tonight earlier today, but I can't stand the thought of going out tonight after being out today. Same deal with shopping -- whatever may be in my closet is going to have to do.
And now to pack -- one of the hardest parts of any scene party, made easier by the fact that we drive so there's no need to worry about fitting everything into the suitcase. Even so, as I've said before, 4 days in Vegas for Shadow Lane seems way more complicated than a summer in Britain. I just have to keep reminding myself that they do have stores in Las Vegas if I find I really need something.
(more will be added to this tonight as events warrant.)
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