Childishly heartbroken

The question "what's really bothering you?" springs to mind.

Last night I had dinner with my closest graduate school (though she's Dr. Friend now having already completed her PhD) and her small son. She and her family are headed to Chicago for her first professional position. I'm thrilled for her -- it's a great job.


Anyway, last night they came over to our apartment after we'd eaten. I was doing my best to amuse her small son (our apartment isn't the most kid-friendly place) by pulling out whatever (vanilla) toys I could find. When they left, I gave him all sorts of cheap plastic toys I'd collected via McD's Happy Meals. He was beyond excited by them and I was pleased to see them go.

And then he asked if he could have Theo. Theo is my plastic bite-y T-Rex dinosaur. He's from the Natural History Museum in London and I tend to use him (at least in my imagination) to attack those who thwart me. I've had him for 5 years. On the other hand, the child asking is four years old, has a father who's been unexpectedly away for two weeks due to a family emergency and had just this past week had to see all his things including toys, packed up and shipped away in a truck to some place he's never been. So of course I said he could have it. I was glad to give it.

Except I woke up this morning feeling deeply sad about the loss of Theo.

Huh?

My only hope is that I'm really mourning the loss of my dear friend who's moving away. I think that's the case. I couldn't really care this much about a plastic dinosaur head on a stick.

Could I?

Comments

[sparkle]

Oh yes you could be mourning Theo *and* your friends! You told the princess once (when you had on another occasion exhausted your supply of vanilla toys) that she could take any of the toys except Theo. And that was perfectly all right. So was giving him away. But Theo has helped you a lot over the last five years - it's only natural you should feel some loss, especially coupled with the move.

Hugs,
sparkle

[Daddy'sLucy]

Mija, I'm so sorry! I have a stuffed bear (Toby) that I can't even travel without. It was very generous of you to give Theo to your friend's son. Maybe Paul and you can go pick out a new "Attacker of the Mija-Thwarters" together?

[Dyke Grrl/Jigsaw Analogy]

I think it's definitely possible that you're upset about *both*.

It is sad when friends move away, but it's also sad when our better natures encourage us to give something away, and we find that we miss that thing once it's gone.

[Iris]

I agree with everyone above, even if said agreement is belated. You tend to be generous to a fault, especially around children--an admirable trait, but perhaps this was a bit too much. You've had a pretty rough and vulnerable year, so giving up any symbol of safety and security (particularly a tangible one) probably feels pretty disappointing. I think Daddy's Lucy has a brilliant idea to find another "Attacker of Mija-Thwarters."

Hugs,
Iris