No, this isn't about being spanked by hands. This is about being spanked / strapped on hands.
I've written about this other places,
but actually was planning a lengthier discussion on my blog as soon as
I found the time. I know it's interesting to others because both on the
Punishment Book and el tercer ojo I probably get more Google hits based
on searches for "hand tawsing" than any others.
I believe I've mentioned here that hand punishments (caning,
rulering and tawsing) are something I do sometimes, even knowing that
being struck on the hands is more dangerous than being struck on the
bottom.
(The pictures at
the link above are ones of me having my hands tawsed at the February 2006 SL
party by Niki Flynn's partner HH. He's the person I've done almost all
my hand tawsing scenes with over the last 8 years although I did have my hands strapped in a very different sort of way by davo at the last SL party.)
So, what frequently Why do I do it?
- Purity: Being tawsed on the hands is purely painful with no explicitly sexual or erotic overtones. People into topping for hand punishments tend to be the sort who are into CP at least in part for the sake of inflicting punishment style pain, not simply erotic pleasure. They're the sort of people I like to play with. In addition to that, hand tawsing has a powerful punishment head space.
- Authenticity: This isn't a surprise probably. I've got a serious bent toward the school scene and the more authentic a school role play can be, the better. Especially as a school *girl*, the idea of a male headmaster hand tawsing isn't anywhere near the leap of imagination that a bare bottom caning would be.
- Intimacy: When doing a hand tawsing scene, I see the person doing it through every moment of the scene. I can see what he's feeling -- his both silent approval of my bravado and his pleasure at the knowledge I will eventually break. I can meet his eyes, not in a mirror but face to face. I can see my hands trembling, watch the strap rise and slash down. It definitely creates a powerful connection.
- Bravery: Having to look the tawser in the eye and hold my hands up to be punished requires a level of bravado it's really not possible to feel when I'm having my bottom punished, even in a caning scene. Since I know the top in the scene is generally looking for the pain reaction, I can try and withhold it for as long as possible. It feels very defiant at the same moment that holding my hands out is a submissive gesture acknowledging their authority and power over me. I feel rather heroic, especially when the scene is done in front of others. For me, there's nothing humiliating about it.
- Public: I don't generally like doing bare bottom scenes in public -- I've got all sorts of body image and modesty hang-ups. I do like doing hand tawsing ones. It feels like a performance. That the one in the photographs at the above link gave such pleasure to some of the English men at the party (especially Ian -- The London Tanner who had made the strap HH used) was fun to know.
- Physical: Okay, I know that there is more risk of lasting injury to having my hands tawsed then there is in having my bottom caned. However, one of the problems I suffer from is severe eczema. Sometimes my skin is so delicate there's no way I can do heavy play on my bottom or legs -- my skin is just too fragile. My palms, on the other hand, are able, literally, to take quite a beating without any damage beyond swelling and bruising.
For me, I'm not a masochist and I'm not into sensual spanking.
Spanking for me is purely CP in the sense that it's about punishment --
either "real", roleplay, or punishments done as form play. Hand tawsing
isn't somehow less erotic for me than spanking is given that I don't
find being spanked erotic at the moment it's done either. The memory of having been punished and how I
either broke or endured -- that's where the erotic element lies for me.
As to the risk -- well, yes. As stated above I know there's a danger every time I do a hand strapping scene. But I've risked my hands for things that give me pleasure / satisfaction in the past -- in fact I've broken fingers playing volleyball and, when in high school and played competitively, bruised my hands black and purple. I don't have any musical talent -- at worst my slow typing might become slower. So far I've done about 5 heavy hand punishment scenes spread out over a period of at least 8 years. It's not something I want to do every weekend (a fortunate thing since my preferred tawser lives thousands of miles away) but the thrill of doing it every so often definitely makes it worth the risk.
