el tercer ojo

Postscript to Gingering Up sparkle

Last week there was a lot of discussion on sparkle's blog about what to do with the extra bit of ginger that was sitting in the 'fridge taunting sparkle.  Knowing her beloved, I suggested she make Chris some cookies and posted my recipe for triple ginger ones.

Just now Paul got a package in the mail. (???)  What could it be?  

Ginger cookies from sparkle of course!  Isn't she just the sweetest?  Thank you!  What a wonderful last-day-of-spring break.

Living in shadows

Over on his excellent blog, Rad in a fit of musing yesterday, brought on by having to fill out a vanilla Facebook page, commented about the kink world and "reality" --

I don’t like an overabundance of artifice although I put up my own fronts when needed (i.e. the Radagast persona that writes this blog). However, even though I do use a nom de plume, the thoughts I spew onto this space are mine and often quite unfiltered even if somewhat edited for content. This person is me and probably the closest to the real me that people would be able to see. My life in the outside world is now fake to me — it is the alternate reality that is somewhat out of step with who I am. Especially at work and in my professional networks, the fakeness of it all is hip-deep.

It's a wonderful blog entry and I found myself nodding along in agreement.  I mean, apart from my family and work as a graduate student (both of which are obviously important to me), I have no vanilla life anymore.  No vanilla social life at all. 

Like Rad, I nearly freaked out filling out Facebook and never have completed it. Yes, I still do vanilla work and have have a few vanilla friends. But all the close ones are ones I made before I got involved in the scene in 1997. I haven’t made a close non-scene friend in over 13 years. 

This is kind of depressing. 

And yet, last summer when the second of my two close vanilla friends moved away (they both left within 18 months), part of what I felt was relief that I didn’t need to worry about her dropping by when I was wearing a school uniform.  (Another part of me was very sad, of course.)

The downside, and there is a downside, is that despite being introverted, I’m sometimes quite lonely now for human contact. My closest girl friend in the scene lives 6000 miles away and neither of us is great about writing, maybe partly because what I want isn’t writing. I miss having a friend I can go out for coffee with and sit and chat a couple times a month. And no, we probably wouldn’t talk about kinky stuff. But we could. I wouldn’t have to guard my tongue, worry about saying too much, always be the listener.

I can't see any way around this (and I don't especially want to be "out" at work -- I value privacy in all directions there).  But I hate worrying about maintaining the walls, especially when in my heart I don't feel what I do in private should matter to anyone else.  But it would.  It wouldn't be the end of the world, but it would matter.

As a friend once said, "the Titanic had compartments too."

Epic hairbrushing

Well, Paul says it wasn't really that hard, but it felt epic. 

Details and musings about it are over at the Punishment Book blog.  Sorry to have been remiss about finishing the scene reports on Shadow Lane. I swear I'm going to write them even if it does add to my "sick little hand-tawsing freak" rep.

Meanwhile, does anyone know where this picture comes from?  Being spanked over the knee in public / private on a park bench is a long time fantasy for me and this is such a beautiful photo.  Anybody know who deserves credit?

Entry in the Punishment Book

A bit of detail about what's been going on with me (work combined with some spanking in the hope of their being more work completed).   Also questioning what to do in a disciplinary relationship when someone's sick. 

Anyway the entry is here.  Enjoy.

Gingering sparkle Up

Over on her blog, Life in Motion, the lovely sparkle tells very little about her recent adventures with ginger.  (Seriously sparkle, is "fucking hurts" really enough detail?

She went on to mention in her comments that there was a whole half a root left in the 'fridge making mean faces at her (or something like that).  I suggested she get rid of it by making some cookies... after all, her beloved likes cookies, that much I do know.

To that end, and at her request, I offer this recipe.

Spicy Ginger Cookies

You'll need

3/4 c. butter

1 c. packed brown sugar

1 egg

1/4 c. molasses

2 1/4 c. flour

2 tsps. ground ginger (make sure it's not too old, taste)

2 tsps. baking soda

1 tsp salt

2 tbsps finely minced fresh ginger root

1/2 cup chopped crystallized ginger

In a large bowl, cream together the butter and brown sugar until smooth. 

Beat in the egg and molasses. 

In another bowl, sift together, ground ginger, baking soda, and salt.

Stir dry mix into the molasses mixture until combined. Then gently add in the fresh and crystallized gingers. 

Refrigerate dough in covered bowl or ziplock for at least 2 hours -- overnight is best.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Shape dough into walnut sized balls, dip in white sugar and place about 2 inches apart onto ungreased parchment covered cookie sheet. 

Bake for 10 minutes in the preheated oven, or until lightly browned. Turn sheet as needed. Cool on wire racks.

Not a Party Report

Last summer I wrote a sort of short story about a furniture fantasy involving an ad for a Chesterfield sofa.  Recently Casey Morgan blogged about the attractiveness of said leather furniture under a blog entry called When Furniture Is Hot.  

So last night as I was surfing a bit and thinking about bedtime I found this picture.  Have I mentioned I've got a thing for Clive Owen? Oh, I suspect I have, even without his having given an on-screen spanking in Shoot 'Em Up.

Yes, okClive Owen is smoking in this picture, which generally does spoil spanking fantasies for me, but I'm willing to be flexible.

Btw, when I finally get back to the rest of the party reports, I'll be able to tell of a conversation about Clive Owen spanking the lovely Amy Hunter.  

Clive, if you're reading, Amy says it would be okay with her.   Just send her an email.

Shadow Lane: Saturday Morning Shopping

For whatever reason, I woke up at 6:30.  Spent a few minutes online and then decided to shower, go down stairs, get coffee and blog.  A latte clutched to me, I settled on a comfy bench and pulled out my beloved MacBook and stuck my earbuds in my ears.

I have to confess that part of the reason I plugged in my ipod was in the expectation that this would mean someone would come and talk to me soon.  Even so, it was a huge surprise to look up and see Niki standing their with her partner HH.  Apparently she had already spoken to Bailey (who was coming down soon) and Pab (who was not, though had woken up enough to confirm that I wasn't in our room). Niki's instinct to search for me near coffee just shows how well she knows me.

A quick conversation showed I had no plans.  Niki did.  She wanted us to go over to the mall at Planet Hollywood and explore the Betty Page shop there.  That sounded like a great idea to me. We collected Bailey, dropped the MacBook in my room, told Pab where we were going and headed out.  (okay, I know the picture is from the film and isn't really Betty Page.  But it's cute anyway, isn't it?)

At the cab stand we ran into Dr. Dan who was also headed to the mall (he was looking for dance music).  He shared a cab with us which was a good thing for a few reasons.  First, Dan is a very nice guy indeed.  Second, once in the cab I realized I had left my wallet on the table in the hotel room (!!!) so it was great that my sponging was spread a bit thinner and third, I could talk with him about having forgotten one of my medications. Ever the helpful gentleman, he offered to get the information from me later and call the 'script into a local pharmacy. 

After wandering around the casino for 10 minutes like mice in a maze, Niki, Bridget and I finally found the mall and then the Betty Page shop. The store was a treasure trove of wonderful dresses.  My forgotten wallet seemed like a wise decsion as I looked on the lovely dresses.  You see, I've gone up a size recently and, while trying not to be crazy about my weight as nothing is as tedious as me whittering on about body image, I didn't really want to buy a lovely dress that would, by summer, (hopefully) need to be altered in order to fit.  Bailey, like me, was admiring the many lovely things while Niki actually tried some on. She found a fantastic dress (well, actually she found many fantastic dresses, but this dress looked especially amazing and so she bought it.

While Niki was busy in the dressing room, Bailey found the spanking bench / machine discretely located in the back of the store behind velvet ropes.  Its shiny red leather surfaces looked unworn and like a prop so we didn't ask even to pose on it.  This would prove to be a mistake as, apparently, had we bought an "I was punished" t-shirt, we'd have been entitled to a go on the machine.   Ah well, got to save something for next time.

We couldn't linger because we had meet Dr. Dan (remember, shared cab) to be back for the suite party / demo Northern Spanking was hosting. Niki was going to be in the demo, but only as the crime "victim" as she wasn't planning on playing this weekend and she warned me that the suites were smaller than at the SunCoast so arriving early would be important. Even though crowds are sometimes a problem for me, I very much wanted to watch so I could see the NS girls in their uniforms.

On the way out the four of us (Dan, Bailey, Niki and me) were so caught up in our happy chatter and in such a hurry to get back that we basically threw ourselves into a taxi van, talking at full volume.  As we pulled out, the driver pointed out a MASSIVE queue of people we'd somehow missed and, in our oblivious state, had jumped ahead of.  We were mortified, especially when the driver told us that she'd been trying to hold the door closed to keep us out. 

Oh the shame of it all.

Still, it did mean we got back to the hotel right on schedule.  This was where and when I found out I wouldn't just be *witnessing* the NS scene.... (to be continued).

Shadow Lane: Friday Night Vendor Fair

Pab* and I arrived in Vegas late (the result of having left late largely due to my deciding to last-minute shop). Last minute packing meant we took everything we could lay our hands on.  

We're old hands at the drive now, so it took just over four hours to get from Santa Monica to the hotel. Okay, okay, it took Pab 4 hours. I was along for the ride. Thankfully the hotel is on the west side of the strip so there was no need to drive through 5pm Vegas traffic. We'd stayed at the Gold Coast when we met Niki Flynn in Vegas in November** so had a pretty good idea of what the rooms were like.  Our premium king room on the 4th floor was better than I expected, though it still had the problem of all the remodeled room in the hotel -- no bath tub and a weird sliding bathroom door which was not at all sound proofed***.  Bridget called to say she and HH were still out exploring the beauty of Death Valley, so I was relieved we weren't going to be the last to arrive.  

Not that my friends think I'm flaky or anything.  But Niki's always where she's supposed to be when she says she's going to be there.  

After we carried the contents of the car to the room, I called Niki's room and found out she was helping (the other) Paul and the lovely Lucy of Northern Spanking get some things packaged for their table. I offered to come down and help if needed.  Niki said I could, especially when I offered to bring a bottle down with me (there are advantages to driving).

So a quick shower and change --wore a jean skirt (last minute charity shop $6 find), pink button down shirt, green sweater, brown tights and brown ballet flats)-- and then headed to Paul and Lucy's room to help tie ribbons around the "Wheatley Manor" DVDs.  This is a three hour epic spanking video.  Three hours!  Niki did much of the work -- she's the organized one of the two of us -- but I think the neat lemon Stoli I brought helped move the job along.  Meeting Lucy and Paul was great -- they made a good impression even though they were clearly harried trying to get ready to set up their table and do the (god only knows how many) shoots they were arranging this weekend.  Lucy looks lovely in photographs but they definitely do not do her justice.  Each time I was face to face with her, I was knocked out by Lucy's blonde good looks and stammered like a school girl.  

Okay, about to start to gush, more on Lucy and NS later.

We went down to the fair and were greeted by Tony and Butch.  Niki and I (wo)manned the NS table briefly while the rest of the NS contingent went around and greeted.  I felt long lost, rusty retail skills returning as I encouraged people to buy the DVD set ($50) while the video played on a large MacBook next to us.  I haven't watched it all the way through yet, but based on what I was seeing at the table, there definitely is plenty of girl on girl action.  Smoking hot!

NS's table was next to Kitty's vendor table and all her lovely but deadly paddles.  As I examined a gorgeous burled black walnut one, a tall hotel waiter stood behind me.  I turned and commented on how lovely the wood was, wondering what the staff at this hotel would think of us -- did we seem like weird freaks?  He smiled, looked down at me and said 

"Yes, but the problem is finding someone to use it on."

(!!!)

I stammered, blushed and said brightly "this would be the room to look."  Nothing further happened -- I was too shy to follow up.

At this point two things happened. Suddenly the room was filling up and at that exact moment, the vodka I'd drunk hit my head and made me giddy and a bit dizzy.  Those of you who know me know I don't drink very much or very often.  Niki, while certainly no lush of course, had poured our drinks with a generous hand.  She was fine, but as the vodka hit I remembered I'd not eaten anything but a latte and protein bar all day.  Eep!

Fortunately the food opened up right at that moment.  There were many yummy things, but I keyed in on the swedish meatballs, something I can't seem to cook right and never get enough of.  Iris came down with M and I was excited to see them.  I think M recognized my bright cheeriness was a little more alcohol based than it should be, steered us toward a table and gallantly fetched more of the life-saving meatballs.  Suddenly Pablo was there too with Bridget, HH and the fair became a reunion.

Over at the SL table, Eve introduced me to David, who made a video for SL, called "Punishment Book" with his partner Lizzy.  He was charming and we chatted about the PB and how the use of punishment, even within the scene, can sometimes be hard to explain to those who don't do it.  It was a great conversation but I had to cut it short when my anxiety got the better of me (it's really hard for me to meet new people) and I had to head back to our table.  Ironically, when I got there, Iris and Bridget were deep in conversation with Lizzy who was trying to figure out if she should tell her family about the spanking element of her relationship with David. 

After the fair, Pab, Iris, Bridget, HH and I went to have a late dinner in the bar at TGIFridays.  This bar became something of a party gathering point, the defacto place to go when looking for other people looking for a place to go.  We ate and talked, catching up over great food and lots of water.  The lights and noise were too much for Iris though.  Vegas and casinos aren't a great place for someone prone to headaches.  

As we left, I thought of going upstairs to see if a suite party was still in progress, but it was already after midnight so I decided instead to go back to the room, play with Twitter a bit and go to bed.  Drifting off to sleep, I whispered to Pab about my evening's adventures... 

(Saturday's adventures to be continued with details of having my hands strapped in a crowded room by a beautiful blonde haired matron.)

---

*I know generally I call my husband by his real name, which is Paul, online, but I am going to refer to him as Pablo or Pab in this party report because we spent a good amount of time with Paul of Northern Spanking and I'd rather this party report not become more farcical than it already is.

**I never blogged about it (shame!) but Pab and I were lucky enough to get to meet up with Niki in Vegas when she filmed Hot Seat with Keith Jones.  Sitting by Tony and Eve's pool listening (and sometimes watching) Keith spank Niki for a few hours was not an unpleasant afternoon.  In fact, I recommend it. 

*** I've got a a huge number of issues about being heard in the bathroom so ended up wasting much water by turning on the tap full force to cover any noises. Sheesh!  Though, as another attendee pointed out to me, unlike her at least I didn't get trapped inside.  

The Missing Tweets

During the drive to Vegas, I tried to Twitter the trip from my phone.  Sadly the tweets didn't show up. They're hardly little epics, but I hate it to seem like I didn't try, so here they are.  

On the road at last.  We're listening to Flanders & Swann and driving east on the 60. I suck at text twittering.

We just passed a sign for Barstow.

Houses in Victorville are selling for 99K. We are halfway there. Musing as to what other cars are heading to shadow lane.

Too late to stop for lunch, too early to stop for dinner.  Pit stop in Baker (worlds tallest thermometer), onward to Vegas.

Crossing into Nevada as I twit.  Texts are getting to Niki's phone - hoping to have dinner before the vendor faire.

Made it to Vegas. Traffic is backed up at the exit.

And so now you know.  

Back to Pablo and Bridget on the bed.  

Shadow Lane '09: Entry 1 - Housekeeping

The workday is over, I'm home and it's time to start getting ready for the Shadow Lane party.

First things first, as mentioned in yesterday's blog post, I'm going to try and Twitter from Vegas.  It can't turn out any worse than my attempts to write party posts have.  The thing is, I can send tweets from my phone, but I won't be able to see replies until I can go on-line -- my phone is too primitive to receive tweets so unless I can figure something else out (unlikely) there won't be much back and forth.  If you unaccountably want to read these entries (likely to be very banal), they're in the right sidebar of this blog and also on my twitter page. 

On the technical side of this blog, I've tried to go through my sidebar links and update them, removing the broken ones (so sad!) and updating people who've moved.  If I've missed your blog's new home, please let me know.  The page layout is looking quite cluttered right now.  I wanted to add the date to the entries, but can't seem to make it show up on the bottom next to the time (which would be sensible) so it's there cluttering up the top.  There's also now links at the top for "home," "archives," and "subscribe."  The last of these will hook you up to the blog's RSS feed.

[An aside: while researching Twitter today, I discovered that Stephen Fry, Alan Davis and Neil Gaiman  seem to "tweet" compulsively throughout their days.  While I'm not surprised, it's definitely fascinating.  A whole world of time-wasting activity seems to have opened up for me.]

All the waxing I needed (basically everything) including the Brazilian Full Monty was done at my much beloved Queen Bee on Tuesday.  Hair is as good as it's going to be.  I've given up on my nails -- had some thought of a pedicure tonight earlier today, but I can't stand the thought of going out tonight after being out today.  Same deal with shopping -- whatever may be in my closet is going to have to do.

And now to pack -- one of the hardest parts of any scene party, made easier by the fact that we drive so there's no need to worry about fitting everything into the suitcase.  Even so, as I've said before, 4 days in Vegas for Shadow Lane seems way more complicated than a summer in Britain.  I just have to keep reminding myself that they do have stores in Las Vegas if I find I really need something.

(more will be added to this tonight as events warrant.)